People in the churches keep saying that they are no longer under the law, just under grace, if you are not able to understand the basic laws of God it is difficult to be in his grace because they come together.

Without understanding Gods 10 commandments and seeing just how the fit into life then how can you treat others with respect – because it is in every one of us to be disobedient and rebellious against authority – it is called free will however when you take a close look at Gods teaching/law you begin to see a different picture emerging.  By keeping them you are then able to treat your fellow man with respect and understanding because you know they are the same as you.  God knows this that is why we were given the option of obeying him and live or disobeying and die.  That is clearly written in Deuteronomy when God gave Moses and His people Israel the choice – of blessing or curses, to be obedient is to receive the blessings, to be disobedient you end up sick, mentally ill, dead.

People in the churches keep saying that they are no longer under the law, just under grace, if you are not able to understand the basic laws of God it is difficult to be in his grace because they come together.

Without understanding Gods 10 commandments and seeing just how the fit into life then how can you treat others with respect – because it is in every one of us to be disobedient and rebellious against authority – it is called free will however when you take a close look at Gods teaching/law you begin to see a different picture emerging.  By keeping them you are then able to treat your fellow man with respect and understanding because you know they are the same as you.  God knows this that is why we were given the option of obeying him and live or disobeying and die.  That is clearly written in Deuteronomy when God gave Moses and His people Israel the choice – of blessing or curses, to be obedient is to receive the blessings, to be disobedient you end up sick, mentally ill, dead, separated from God Himself.






Overcoming the Death of a loved one

For me the death of my husband has left me reeling a bit.  As he choose to take his own life at a time when it was really difficult for us as he had decided to end his life but could not see that the result would be that I would be alone without him.

He only saw the pain and anguish in his own life which was all self-inflicted.  He would be constantly in medical books trying to sort out some so called problem or other – which was none existent – we went for all the tests that he thought was wrong with him only to be told time and time again that there was nothing they could find wrong with him.

We knew of his congenital heart defect which had been with him all his life, yet he was unaware of it most of his life only when the Drs told him when he had talked himself into a Atrial Fibrillation by constantly stressing about his blood pressure.

Watching a perfectly healthy individual deteriorate to such a degree where he contemplated and planned his own death.

To watch and know that no one could help him because he had refused help from the Mental Health people on the grounds that he had sufficient support from his loving wife – me.  However, for me it was truly a tragic event because I believe and do believe that God has a plan for each individual on this planet and no matter how difficult times can sometimes be He is always there to watch over us. Unfortunately, my husband did not share my points of view and in his mind he was not going to wait around to become a cripple and bedridden and burden on me he decided that He would choose his time and date when he was going to die.  For weeks before he actually did it he would pace about making experiements which failed and yet he kept making his own preparations these he did in secret yet would let me know that he had yet failed to kill himself because something stopped him. Yet he would go off on his own making his plans in the end it was just a waiting game as I knew no matter what I would say he had already made up his mind.  We went to see the drs who did not take his suicide threats seriously in fact they were shocked when he actually did it.  I do not have any faith whatsoever in the medical profession, my faith is squarely in Gods mighty hands.

My husband’s life had been virtually trouble free except for a messy divorce from his first wife – who had played away from home and yet insisted that it was because he was not there for her.  He worked all the hours as a lecturer and provided his family with an excellent living style which had been debt free and problem free.  Their personalities did not match, but he knew that from the start.  However, for him in his life there was little difficulty with his health or that of his family, therefore when it did hit him he was not prepared for the difficulties nor did he want to face them or solve them, this man who had prided himself on problem solving and resolving issues could not and would not listen to reason.  He had chosen the path of least resistance, and took his own life.

My life on the other hand has been strewn with problems from childhood therefore for me it did not make any sense at all that this man’s minor battle was so over powering.  I have lost, mother, brother, children and even watched husband’s trying to kill themselves.  My first husband constantly was trying to kill himself – as yet not succeeded.  Even though he is still an alcoholic and junkie  My precious Colin was none of these things yet when push came to shove was able to succeed where others had failed much to my distress.

Living without him this past year has been really difficult, on one hand having moved to Spain to be were my heart lies has been a blessing, but without him it is a hollow victory – because as I watch the wonderful sunsets over Gibraltar and Africa it makes me sad to know that the one person who would really have enjoyed these views is no longer with me.

For me to walk by the seashore without my beloved has been really hard.

The hardest thing of all is turning out my old life, starting with things that we shared together, books etc.  It has been hard to get rid of my past, holding onto memories which have only pain in them because the last few years before his death he had lost his essence of the husband and man I fell in love with, at the end it was like living with a stranger, getting up each morning and sharing breakfast with a person who is constantly telling you that he is not happy with his life and that his health is failing and that he cannot see any way forward and watching his disintegrate before your eyes and being told that he is not the man he was when he married me that the husband was no longer within him.  Makes it really hard to hear.  However I forever tried to reassure him that he had still got me but in the end even I had to concede that the man sitting before me was not the man I married.  That was the hardest moment in my life.  Watching him turn into a perfect stranger almost overnight.  We did not have anything in common any more, walking with him was really a difficult thing to do because no matter how I tried to reassure him and encourage him and pray for him and encourage him to Seek God in all  his troubles he did not seem to understand that the God I was talking about is well able to safe and heal and bless people the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, the God of Israel who brought them out of the pit of hell in Egypt to come and worship before him and He who parted the Red Sea that they may cross over in safety this is the God I serve.

The God who gave mankind a set of Commandments to live by to love one another to encourage one another with psalms and prayer, the God Creator of the Universe.  This God is able to do the impossible if you trust him to do it, but Colin did not trust, he did not believe that God could change his life, He did not believe that God was able to lift him up out of the dark pit, he did not believe that God loved him.

This was the worst of it.  Sitting listening to someone deny the very God of the universe his mighty power because he felt he was able to make the choice without God – just like so many people in this world today just sitting waiting to die, hoping to die and looking to die without hope.  This to me is a real tragic life for me to live life to the full knowing the God creator is all loving and all caring and all knowing He does know your pain, He understands your weakness – He came to be as one of us, so that he would have an even deeper understanding on how his creation feels when they are in pain.  He wrapped his arms around those who cried out to him, he extended his arm to help lift the cripple, the blind the halt and lame to their feet and strengthened the ankles of the feeble this is the God who came to save us from ourselves.

Yeshua is the best God we could possibly have, he created the universe at a word, everything came into being because of his breath, are we so blind as to see that without his initial breath and word none of this would be in existence to day.  Every day I wake up and praise God in my heart that yet again I am able to breathe and enjoy the day, the sunshine the wind, the waves, even the rain is a blessing.  I know in UK it may not seem it, if there is no rain there is drought, therefore Praise God for his great mercy.


As I sit upon my rooftop terrace doing my bible study surrounded by such beauty as mountains, sea and orchards, I praise God for his wonderful bounty.


As reading in Isaiah I reflect on the human condition of our relationship with each other and our relationship with God and Jesus.

I am amazed at how clear thinking and precise was Isaiah’s writings are, exposing the hypocrisy of his day and also it shows a real resemblance of what is happening today in many congregations and throughout the world in general.


When we take into account that God gave Moses the Commandments for people to live by it is amazing just how important that they are to man today, for without them we are lost, cut off from God and the blessings he wishes to pour out on us.


In Isaiah 28 V 23 – 29

Listen and hear my voice: pay attention, and hear what I say:

Does a farmer sowing keep ploughing forever?

Does he never stop breaking up and harrowing his land@

No – when he finished levelling it, he scatters his dill-seed, sows his cumin, puts wheat in rows, barley where it belongs, and plants buckwheat around the edges, because God has taught him this, have given him instruction.


Dill must not be threshed with a sledge or cartwheels driven over cumin, rather dill one beats with a stick and cumin with a flail.


When crushing grain for bread one doesn’t thresh it forever, one drives the horse and cart wheels over it but doesn’t crush it to powder.

This too comes from Adonai-Tzva-ot (God our Father) his counsel is wonderful, his wisdom great.



In Isaiah 29 V 9 –16

If you make yourselves stupid, you will stay stupid!

If you blind yourselves, you will stay blind!

You are drunk, but not from wine;

You are staggering but not from strong liquor.


For Adonai has poured over you a spirit of lethargy; he has closed your eyes (that is, the prophets) and covered your heads (that is, the seers),


For you this whole prophetic vision has become like the message in a sealed up scroll.


When one gives it to someone who can read and says “please read this,” he answers “I can’t, because it is sealed”.


If the scroll is given to someone who can’t read with the request, “please read this,” he says, “I can’t read.


Then Adonai said.

“Because these people approach me with empty words, and the honour they bestow on me is mere lip-service; while in fact they have distanced their hearts from me and their “fear of me” is just a mitzyah (commandment) of human origin- therefore, I will have to keep shocking these people with astounding and amazing things, until the “wisdom” of their “wise one’s” vanishes, and the “discernment” of their “discerning ones” is hidden away.


Woe to those who burrow down deep to hide their plans from Adonai (God).   They work in the dark and say to themselves “Nobody sees us, nobody knows us” How you turn things upside down!


Is the potter not better than the clay. Does something made say of its maker “He didn’t make me”


Does the product say of its producer, “He has not discernment”.

For me it is very clear that unless we start to take God seriously in the matter of His Commandments we shall not have peace – not at any price because we are failing to do His Will which he had created us for.


For people to actually try and deny the very existence of God is ludicrous because the evidence is so clearly all around us, man has not been able to duplicate any of the wonderful creations that God has done…


When we think of genetic engineering and the magnificent breakthrough’s that purports to have done – in the end they have not invented anything new – God is the master Genetic Engineer – he is the Creator of all.


The medical profession are unable to duplicate limb replacements or anything like that, even when they do produce some sort of replacement it does not always work efficiently.


Whenever anyone is seeking help from sources other than God they are in effect seeking help from Egypt which God makes very clear is not the way forward


In Isaiah 30 v 1-5

“Woe to the rebellious children” says Adonai (God)

“They make plans, but the plans are not mine, they develop alliances, but not from my Spirit, in order to pile sin upon sin.


They go down to Egypt but don’t consult me, seeking refuge in Pharaoh’s protection, seeking shelter in Egypt’s shadow.


But Pharaoh’s protection will bring you shame, shelter in Egypt’s shadow will lead to disgrace. Though his princes are at Tzoan and his envoys have reached Hannes, they all are disappointed, with a people that doesn’t help them, who give no assistance and no advantage only disappointment and disgrace.

When we read Egypt we can replace this with the World because it takes us away from seeking Gods face and grace to help us through any difficulties we may have, I know from experience how someone can get so caught up in seeking the way of the world that it ended with him taking his own life, instead of seeking the face of God and really trusting that God can and will pull you out of any difficult situation if you will only open up and take a step of faith, knowing that Jesus himself said that if you only have faith as small as a mustard seed it is enough to ask God for help.


I myself can testify to this fact as I was an unbeliever for many years, it took the threat of my own death to bring me to my senses and recognise that only God is able to pull people back, only when it is His time for them to come to that place, no one can be forced to come to God only God does the drawing to Himself.


However no matter what is happening in your own life just now it is important to know that God the Creator of all things is very much in charge and is very aware of all things that are happening on the earth and in the heavens – He himself is in control, He knows the ultimate end of Mankind.


Are we going to sit back and keep thinking that it does not matter because he does not see, WRONG HE DOES SEE and HE DOES KNOW.


Are we so arrogant as a species to believe that we can do better than God – AGAIN WRONG only God can give and take life, He is the author and finisher of all.


No matter what happens in life God is in Control always working in the background in our lives just letting us go our own merry way until we really do screw up. God is there for us all no matter where we are what we have done, how bad we may feel we are God knows your innermost being. He made you the person you are, it is up to you when he puts his hand on your life and starts to lead you in a direction to follow him through because he has only good things to give to you.

When God makes it plain for all to see.


In Isaiah 30 V 13 – 33

“Because you reject this word, trust in extortion and rely on deceit, this sin will become for you a crack bulging out high on a wall showing signs it is ready to fall; then suddenly, all at once, it breaks”.

He will break it like a clay pot, ruthlessly shattering it into pieces so tiny not even a potsherd remains for taking fire from the fireplace or scooping water from the cistern.


For this is what Adonai Eliohim (God) the Holy One of Israel says:

“Returning and resting is what will save you; calmness and confidence will make you strong – but you want none of this!

‘No!’ you say, ‘We will flee on horseback!’


Therefore you shall surely flee and ‘We will ride on swift one’s !’ So your pursuers will be swift.


A thousand will flee at the threat of one, you will flee at the threat of five until you are left isolated, like a flagstaff on a mountaintop, like a banner on a hill.


Yet Adonai (God) is just waiting to show you favour, he will have pity on you from on high; for Adonai is a God of Justice; happy are all who wait for him!


People of Tziyon (Zion), who live in Yerushalayim, (Jerusalem) you will weep no more.  At the sound of your cry, he will show you his grace; on hearing it, he will answer you.


Though Adonai may give you but bread and water, and not very much of that; your teacher will no longer hide himself, but with your own eyes you will see your teacher.


With ears you will hear a word from behind you; “This is the way; stay on it, whether you go to the right or the left. You will treat as unclean your silver-covered idols and your cast metal images plated as gold; you will throw them away, like menstrual cloths; you will say to them, “Get out of here”


The He will give you rain for the seed you use to sow your land, and the food that comes from the ground will be rich and abundant.

When that day comes, your cattle will graze in spacious pastures.

The oxen and donkeys that work the land will eat a tasty mixture, winnowed free of chaff, spread by pitchfork and shovel.

On every high mountain and lofty hill will be streams and flowing brooks, on a day of great slaughter when the towers fall.

Moreover, the light of the moon will be as bright as the light of the sun and the light of the sun will be seven times stronger, like the light of seven days (in one) on the day Adonai binds up the wounds of his people and heals the bruise caused by the blow.


Here comes the name of Adonai from afar, his anger burning, in thick rising smoke. His lips are full to the brim with fury, his tongue a consuming fire. His breath is like a racing torrent that rises up to the neck to sift the nations with a sieve of destruction, and put a bridle in the peoples’ mouths to lead them astray. Your song will be like one that is ung on a night when a holy feast is kept and your hearts will be happy as if walking to the sound of the fulute to the mountain of Adonai (God) to the Rock of Israel.


Adonai (God) will make his glorious voice heard and he will reveal his arm descending with furious anger in a flaming firestorm, with cloudbursts, tempests and hailstones, For Adonai’s voice will terrify Ashur, as with his sceptre he strikes them down. Every sweep of the punishing rod that Adonai imposes on him will be to tambourines and lyres as he brandishes his arm against them in battle. For the Tofet fire pit has been long ready prepared for the king, made large and deep with plenty of wood and blazing with fire; like a stream of sulphur. Adonai’s breath sets it aflame.

When reading this today, it became very apparent to me that no matter how we believe ourselves to be “progressive” by denying God and His power, we in fact are only leaving ourselves wide open for more trouble.

Better we come back to God and repent of our natural distaste for discipline (God Discipline) and His Laws and really recognise that His WAYS are the only ways for us to live by.


This precious Sabbath on which I write this piece has been really blessed as I have had the time to reflect and enjoy the fact that Isaiah had faced a population who were just as rebellious as we are today. No wonder God had to do something really incredible to give us the opportunity to come back and have the chance to be transformed into his likeness instead of living like animals.

The people in the world today just seem to be hell bent on destroying everything they touch, all that is lovely they want to try to make into something ugly.

When we look at our surroundings and watch the destruction of our rain forests and destroying ways of lives of so many peoples in so called primitive cultures – they at least have the respect for life and recognise that they are part of the cycle. Today, modern man seems to have forgotten that we are also part of the cycle of life on this planet.

When we look back over history – bearing in mind we are talking His –Story – God story of this wonderful planet, it is amazing that we survived at all. God is gracious and loving and kind and is waiting for us to turn back to him and ask for his forgiveness for our sins, crimes against the planet and ourselves.


When are we going to wakes up and realise that we are all here together we are all here with a common goal to live our lives to the full and the betterment of ourselves and each other. What better way could there be than to live by the Code of Life that God gave us through Moses, the Ten Commandments are the most important Life Rules you could possibly live by.


Do feel free to contact me to pray with you or help you find the information you need to challenge your own bible study.


I myself have been doing a bible study course with Living Church of God, I have found inspiring and challenging. However the reading I did today I was lead into it by God and have found it a really challenging experience.



We say we love the Lord Yeshua, Jesus, the Messiah yet we do not do as He has told us to do!

If we say we love and believe in Yeshua and God and say we do not need the 10 Commandments which make up the Spiritual base of what we believe then how can we say we comply with the first Commandment which is to Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, and everything withiin you , and to be ready to keep His Commandments.  How do we comply if we are prepared to say we do not need them, when quite clearly we do.

If you take a close look at the 10 Commandments that God gave to mankind – via Moses we can see that by following them we are indeed complying with what God had laid out to us. Yeshua did not come to change any of it but rather to fulfil it – yet even He said that he had not come to get rid of the law – in fact He makes it very clear in Matthew that we are to keep the commandments, even in 1 Corinthians 7, Paul is making it clear that they are important – does not say that we are to stop obeying them – in fact the passage reads as such (from the Complete Jewish Bible)

1 Corinthians 7 : verses 18 -19

18)  Was someone already circumcised when he was called?, then he should not try to remove the marks of his circumcision.  Was someone uncircumcised when he was called? He should’nt undergo b’rit-milah (circumcision). 

 19) Being circumcised means nothing, and being uncircumcised means nothing; what does mean something is keeping Gods commandments.

In Matthew 24 Yeshua speaks plainly –

4) Yeshua replied “watch out! Don’t let anyone fool you!

5) for many will come in my name, saying ‘I am the Messiah’ and they will lead many astray

6) You will hear the noise of wars nearby and the news of wars far off; see to it that you don’t become frightened .  Such things must happen, but the end is yet to come.

7) For peoples will fight each other, nations will fight each other, and there will be famines and earthquakes in various parts of the world

8) All this is but the beginning of the “birth pains”

9) At that time you will be arrested and handed over to be punished and put to death, and all peoples will hate you because of me.

10) At that time many will be trapped into betraying and hating each other

11) Many false prophets will appear and fool many people;

12) And many people’s love will grow cold because of the increased distance from the Torah (Covenants, Commandment, Teachings of God). 

13) But whoever holds out till the end will be delivered

14) And the Good News about the Kingdom will be announced throughout the whold world as a witness to all the Goyim, (Pagans, Unbelievers)  It is then that the end will come.

15) “So when you see the abomination that causes desolation spoken about through the propeht Daniel standing in the Holy Place”  (let the reader understand the allusion),

16) “that will be the time for those in Y’hudah to escape to the hills,

17) if someone is on the roof, he must not go down to gather his belongings from is house,

18) If someone is in the field, he must not turn back to get his coat.

19) What a terrible time it will be for pregnant women and nursing mothers!

20) Pray that you will not have to escape in winter or on Shabbat.

21) For there will trouble then worse than there has ever been from the beginning of the world until now, and there will be nothing like it again.

22) Indeed, if the length of this time had not been limited, no one wold survive, but for the sake of those who have been chosen, its length will be limited.

23) “At that time, if someone says to you “look! Here is the Messiah! or, there he is” do not believe him.

24) “For there will appear the false Messiahs and false prophets performing great miracles – amazing things – so as to fool even the chosen, if possible.

25) There I have told you in advance!

26) So if people say to you, “listen, he is out in the desert! don’t go, or “look! He’s hidden away in a secret room!” don’t believe it.

27) For when the Son of Man does come, it will be like lightening that flashed out of the east and fills the sky to the western horizon.

28) Wherever there’s a dead body, that’s where you find the vultures.

29) Immediately following the trouble of those times,

The sun will grow dark, the moon will stop shinning, the starts will fall from the sky, and the powers in heaven will be shaken.

30) The sign of the Son of Man will appear in the Sky, all tribes of the Land (Earth) will mourn, and they will see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of heaven with tremendous power and glory.

31) He will send out his angels with a great Shofar (Trumpet) and they will gather together his chosen people from the four winds, from one end of the heave to the other.

31) Now let the fig tree teach you its lesson; when its branches begin to sprout and leave appear, you know that summer is approaching

32) In the same way, when you see all these things, you are to know that the time is near, right at the door.

34) Yes! I tell you that this people will certainly not pass away before all these things happen. 

35) Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away.

36) But when that day and hour will come, no one knows – not the angels in heaven, not the Son, only the Father.

37) For the Son of Man’s coming will be just as it was in the days of Noah.

38) Back then, before the Flood, people went on eating and drinking, taking wives and becoming wives, right up till the day Noah entered the ark

39) and they didn’t know what was happening until the Flood came and swept them all away.  It will be just like that when the Son of Man comes.

40) Then there will be two men in a field – one will be taken and the other left behind.

41) There will be two women grinding flour at the mill – one will be taken and the other left behind.

42) So stay alert, because you don’t know on what day the Lord will come.

For me it is very important to understand the times we are living in, for me it has been a journey of discovery from the time I was 21 till now, I have been very keen to find out what Yeshua was teaching, we who were not brought up in any religion or practices we have a journey that is challenging.  When I first started to Trust God which was after an incredible bad time in my life, I had been very ill with chronic nervous indigestion (which may not mean much) but when you are unable to eat or drink anything without throwing up all the time, you develop a sense of not wanting to eat or drink because of the trouble it causes you.  However, when I was really ill and felt I was dying I cried out to God and told him I did not believe in him but would he please heal me, during that time I had read Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, but did not believe it – nor could I believe that same Yeshua could save my life – however, to tell you that when the weight lifted off my chest and I was able to breath again and could get up without pain and to enjoy eating without the problems it does make you realise that you are definitely not alone – then I started to read the Bible seriously and look at all  the amazing things that God had done throughout all of the History of Mankind, how when the house of Israel turned their back on God and forgot His Commandments, his statutes, his laws, his very teachings that Israel was taken captive and became a slave nation – but then when one of the people rediscovered the Laws of God and started to keep them then their nation was blessed and brought out of captivity and slavery.  So when you thing of your own life and you think of Yeshua hanging on the Tree for you and realise that His life was given so that you may have an opportunity to return to the Father knowing that Yeshua had made the ultimate sacrifice – that by being obedient even unto death He gave us the Atonement for our sins and our lawlessness ways.

For me to come back to the Father and start to take some inspiration from the Word of God on how to live our lives by following the 10 Commandments we realise that if all the nations were to live according to the same Commandments as God had intended then we would have a Peace on this Earth – but we cannot have it until we come back to the Father and ask for forgiveness for our backsliding and our lack of knowledge and understanding of His divine plan for Humanity.  What an incredible place this world could be with every one living in harmony and peace with each other, all living by the same code of life – well for the people of the Word it is possible because that is his promise that we will all be living in the same way when the King returns.

What an incredible future we have when we look at the Word of God as our source of inspiration rather than to the Worlds newspapers.  For me the Bible has been a road map for me for many years and I can honestly say that without God and His teachings I would not be here today.  I am now 55 and have many years ahead of me God willing to share Gods wonderful plan for mankind.